Whales: Teachers of the Masculine
By
Dr. Deborah Taj Anapol
The tropical sun glints on the ocean waters like liquid silk. The
wind is unbelievably still today on the Silver Banks, the surface
of the water flat as a mountain lake. Perfect conditions for spotting
humpback whales. This huge coral reef is the destination for thousands
of humpback whales who come each winter to mate and give birth. It's
also the destination for a couple of dozen sea going humans attracted
to this rare, legal opportunity to visit with the whales in the heart
of their Atlantic breeding grounds.
Our
Zodiac raft glides quickly through the calm waters toward a cacophony
of spouts and tail slapping. Suddenly, a huge body arches out of the
water, only a few yards away. The rasping sound of the water being
ejected from the whale's blowhole takes our breath away. Three
other whales appear nearby, jostling each other for position. Our
Captain tells us we've come upon a “rowdy group” of
males, each hoping to mate with the lone female.
Intent upon their mission, these whales pay no attention to us as
we track their movements from a respectful distance. We're awed
by the power of this display as we float in the hormone soup of the
whales' wake. Over and over the group dives and resurfaces, moving
quickly as first one, then another nudge each other aside like giant
bumper cars in an attempt to take the lead. Meanwhile the female frolics
gracefully, just out of reach. We can feel the intensity build as
this game goes on.
I sense this demonstration of raw male energy is simply part of the
whales' mating ritual. There's no wild emotion being acted
out, no intrigue, manipulation, or anger. It's a pure assertion
of force without ill intent. Although their interaction is potentially
lethal, injuries are uncommon and death extremely rare.
In our unnatural human world we've come to associate aggression
with brutality. But none of us feels the slightest fear even though
we know that if they wanted to they could annihilate us with one slap
of their huge tails. These whales are neither shy nor polite about
expressing their maleness, but I feel no trace of anger or meanness,
no hint of danger, though I wouldn't want to swim in between them
at this moment! Instead, we human females are in awe of the whales'
virility. I find this primal male energy inspiring and oddly comforting.
Later, back on the triple deck catamaran that's home for the week,
we share about the day's experiences. Daniel says he felt uncomfortable
watching the whales' display of male competition. It brought up
feelings of shame about aggressive male behavior and fear that the
women were judging him. I was grateful for Daniel's emotional
honesty and vulnerability and quickly acknowledged him for leading
the group to a higher level of intimacy. At the same time, his words
ignited a tremendous grief in me.
As a woman, my life has been impoverished by a relative absence of
the very energy Daniel was embarrassed to be associated with. We hear
a great deal these days about the return of the Goddess, but not so
much about the return of the God. I miss the opportunity to interact
with clean masculine power, and I've had difficulty finding and
cultivating this power within myself.
Balance
