|
My
First Inipi Ceremony
by
Ernest L. McDonald
For a long time I had prayed and meditated over my decision to
enter the Inipi, the traditional sweatlodge. My heart had to be
right. It's not a choice to be taken lightly. Not unless you
are a fool and want to risk your physical and emotional wellbeing.
Not to mention the risk you are taking spiritually.
It is a physically challenging environment. The heat is extreme,
with red hot volcanic rocks. The dwelling is very hot and cramped.
We were squeezed in there shoulder to shoulder. To those with
claustrophobia, like myself, it can be rather intimidating.
Inipi is a great challenge: a challenge of humility. A challenge
to drop all the walls you surround yourself with and reach into
the very core of your being. A challenge to find the God
within yourself. It is a place where you can find help and hope
of understanding.
In the Inipi all are returned to the womb of the Earth Mother,
the female aspect of the Great Spirit. The Goddess. You enter
and exit in a clockwise direction. It is believed to be the direction
of the flow of the universe.
It was dark inside. At times you could not see your hand in front
of your face. Only the red hot glow from the rocks in the firepit
was visible. The Spirits come from all around to dwell in the
fire. The songs and the chants go on and on. An invitation for
the Spirits of the ancestors to come dwell amongst us, the living.
They love the old songs. Those who have gone before.
As often as needed the leader or Medicine Man will sprinkle water
and herbs on the burning rocks to cause steam. A steam that cleanses
one of toxins and impurities of body, mind, and spirit. It's
hot. Very hot. People have been known to bolt out the doorway.
Some have burned themselves seriously. It's not a game. Not
for the curiousity seeker.
As I knelt there on my knees suffering through what I thought
might become unbearable, I prayed one prayer over and over again:
“Turn my fear to love. Give me back my ancient being.”
The steam came down my back. I was burned. I screamed in fear
and pain. I had given in to my fear and reaped my reward. My
friend pulled me down behind him and covered me with a towel.
I had to trust the Spirits to get me through this. I began to
see that I needed to summon up more courage. I later discovered
that I really wasn't in danger. I was being protected and
comforted by the Spirit. I was afraid of the unknown. All the
pain, hardship, and suffering of my life came to the surface.
All was washed away as though it never existed. In its place was
left a deep, unconditional love, the kind of love that performs
miracles.
Then began my prayers for my son Charlie. He was the reason I
had come to this place. He was deeply troubled and needed help.
He was also five hundred miles away. I felt helpless.
It was hot in there. My friend could see that I was suffering
and began to whisper in my ear: “Become one with the fire.
Breathe it in deeply. Fill your body with the spirit of the fire.
Face your fear.”
I was finally able to follow his words and concentrate. I was
losing my fear. The same fear that had been hammered into my heart
all my life by those like my own father, who would gladly have
destroyed me.
Suddenly it was as though I had fallen into an air-conditioned
room. My friend put his foot down onto the glowing rocks and was
not burned. I could hear the songs from centuries past ringing
in my ears. They were being sung by us all in order that we might
have the courage and faith to endure.
I was being transported to places of love and incredible beauty.
All of a sudden I found myself looking into a beautiful green
forest. There in the trees stood my son. He had a reassuring look
on his face, the face of his spirit. He told me not to worry,
he would be okay, he'd survive. I was finally at peace. I
wept quietly giving thanks.
I found that I had covered my body with mud in order to find some
comfort from the heat. The body of my Earth Mother caressing me
with her essence, Her arms enclosing me and keeping me safe. As
I lay outside on my back in the snow, still naked, I stared directly
into the sun, its rays falling all around my body. The sound of
the wind and birds so clear. So beautiful and peaceful.
I had offered up my life for my son's. In the process I had
discovered the love of my Earth Mother. I had become one with
all that exists: the Spirit that connects us all and connects
us to the Father.
A healing had taken place that day. A healing that was a long
time coming.
Ernest
McDonald, of Prescott, AZ, has spent ten years traveling in the
traditional Native American Spiritual culture and has studied with a
respected Navaho Elder. He may be contacted at elkbrother@yahoo.com.
|
Ritual
