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The
Yin and Yang of Love
by
Diana Daffner
 To
love or not to love. It's not really a question, is it? Deep within
all of our hearts lies a profound yearning for love, both to give and
to receive. Ancient Kabbalah mystics described this physical, manifest
world as a vessel for receiving the light of divine love. And within
this manifest world, human beings have been endowed with the power to
radiate, to give, divine love.
To love or not to love. It may not be a question, but it is a choice.
We can withhold love or we can let it flow. In a general spiritual and
humanitarian sense, it's easy to imagine divine love and light flowing
through us. We meditate and embrace the world. We send emails urging
our politicians to make peace instead of war. We give to charity, serve
dinner to the homeless. Aspiring to the Buddhist injunction for rightful
living, we make ethical choices that are aligned with the flow of divine
light. We choose Love.
Yet we are often lonely, unable to experience the fullness of our hearts.
We think that if we find the 'right partner' to love and be loved by,
we will feel complete. And even when we have a partner, in a committed
relationship, we find ourselves sometimes lonely. Loneliness is a sense
of being untouched, unseen. If we are indeed both the givers and receivers
of divine light, how is it possible that we can remain hidden? How can
we hide from the brightness of our own being?
This awesome power that we have, this ability to radiate the brightness
of love, is paralleled by our equally extraordinary ability to receive
love. Sometimes it seems that we wear ourselves out trying to live up
to one of these divine gifts, while ignoring the other.
The well known symbol of yin and yang portrays these two parts of ourselves,
the bright, outward giving-ness of yang and the receptive, inner-directed
yin. Yin is our feminine self, our softness and compassion, the stillness
of our soul. Yang energy is active, always on-the-move, going somewhere.
Which side do you most identify with? Are you always giving, shining
your divine light into the hearts of others? Have you perhaps closed
down the boundary to your own heart, limiting access to the very treasure
that you yearn to share?
Within the dark recess of the yin side of the symbol is a bright dot.
That dot represents the shining forth of yang energy. Similarly, on
the white yang side, there is a dark dot, symbolizing the receptivity
that counterbalances yang's active nature. Even if we wanted to,
we cannot choose to be one-hundred percent one or the other. Nothing
in this universe remains all yin or all yang. At the moment of fullness,
each turns into the other.
In sexual love, we both extend (yang) and receive (yin). Even our anatomy
blends these two principles. We have both external and internal pleasure
places. While a man appears to be primarily yang and a woman primarily
yin, the fullness of lovemaking allows and creates transformation. In
Tantra teachings, feminine sexual energy pours forth as powerful "shakti,"
igniting the masculine. In a seeming reversal of yin and yang, the masculine
is honored as "shiva," the holder of consciousness, receptive
to the high charge of shakti.
Back and forth, yang to yin, to yang, to yin. These dynamic forces are
always interactive, always in relation to one another. And always changing.
In Chinese Taoist philosophy, change is the primary quality of this
earthly dimension. Wisdom lies in aligning appropriately with each shift,
each movement.
When we become too entrenched on either side, too yang or too yin, we
feel incomplete because we are only half of ourselves. There is no "perfect
partner" who can make us whole. We each have within us the desire
to give, the ability to receive. We can be yang, we can be yin. Through
conscious loving, we can cultivate and refine our experiential awareness
of both. Any relationship can be transformed into a love affair!
Ancient eastern teachings such as Tantra and Tai Chi provide a framework
for understanding and refining the basic energies of sexuality and love.
As two individuals melt into one sphere of ecstasy, each is completely
seen and loved by the other. Loneliness ends. Love returns. Balance
is restored in the universe and divine consciousness flows freely.
Dancing on the S-curve of the yin-yang symbol, lovers give and receive
in an endless changing cycle of ecstasy and infect the world with their
joy. With a shared awakening of passionate love and a profound experience
of infinite peace, couples who practice Tantra consciously move energy
to create and sustain a dynamic shift into blissful union.
Love is not the question. Love is the answer.
Diana
and Richard Daffner lead their internationally known Intimacy Retreat
in Dahlonega, GA, the last weekend in July. For information, write tantra@IntimacyRetreats.com
or call 1-877-282-4244 for a brochure.
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