Awakening My Spirit

by Hazel Teague

My nephew Michael was born in Germany to loving parents, my sis and brother-in-law, October 17, 1980. Shortly after being born, my sister instinctively knew that Michael was not eating and thriving normally and he was subsequently diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. CF effects mainly the respiratory and digestive systems with thick, sticky mucous leading to many lung infections. Multiple times a year he would end up in the hospital for “tune ups” as they were called.

Toward the end of 2000, he and his fiancé decided they wanted to be married the following November. We were concerned about their possible future because of his sickness, but their love was great, and they were looking forward to becoming man and wife. However in August 2001, Michael ended up in the hospital for 63 days in severe respiratory distress. He did seem to get better for a bit, but later died and was buried the day before they were to be married.

His death shook me to the core of my being. I was unhappy, sad, hurt, and angry; angry at God for allowing this disease to ravish his body for all of these years; angry at the doctors for not helping him to live. I wished for him to have a “normal” life like other children and felt like he had been cheated. Angry at myself because I had not taken more time to draw closer to him all those years as he was growing up.

February 28, 2002 I was getting ready for work in the wee hours of the morning. All of the sudden the alarm on my palm pilot went off and I didn’t know how to stop it, nor was it set to go off. I laughed and told my husband that Michael was trying to say hi, but I had said this in a joking manner only, because I had not yet discovered after-death communication. The following month on the 28th I went to treat myself to a much needed massage in a spa capsule. I was relaxing in this contraption, listening to soft music, eye shades on. All of the sudden I felt pressure for a few seconds across of the bridge of my nose. I popped straight up out of the spa and looked around. No one was in the room. At the time I was confused, yet I had this feeling that Michael had really connected with me.

When Michael was in his last hospitalization, I had helped him try to cure a pressure sore on the bridge of his nose created by the oxygen mask which he needed 24/7. The following month my husband and I were looking at homes for sale. I realized that it was the 28th of the month again and I said out loud “Michael where’s my sign?” As we turned the corner of the bedroom, a dragonfly was caught in the half-opened window. We stopped and watched this creature with those jeweled wings fluttering in the window. The week before we had gone to see the movie “Dragonfly.” In the movie, the main character becomes obsessed with the idea that his late wife is trying to contact him through the near-death experiences of his patients. Immediately I acknowledged this as a message sent from Michael and I cried tears of joy and thankfulness for the connection.

In the coming days, I began reading everything I could get my hands on. I would read out loud to my husband and anyone who would listen to my stories. I was shocked at how many others had shared their experiences through books and stories, and yet I had grown up so unaware of these happenings and beliefs. My husband tried to support me the best way he knew how. Some days he would lean toward believing me and others, the next day he would be saying to himself--no way, this just isn’t happening. This just didn’t matter at all to me. I continued to read and search and learn. Messages continued and I kept journals of my thoughts and signs. Guided meditations and learning to relax became a wonderful way to connect with Michael and others. The journey is a process and had only just begun.

Michael continues to connect with me at times, though not as often as in the beginning after his death. I will forever be grateful to him for assisting me to awaken to that bond of love that still exists between us. We each can learn to connect through the power of love -- for love is truly eternal.

Hazel Teague, RN, BSN, lives with her pharmacist husband Jack, and their cat in Georgetown, TN. She is presently working with the OMA Group, out of Knoxville, sharing frequency CD's. Find out more by calling 423-961-2769 or teaguejh@earthlink.net.