Your Heart Knows the Answer.

by Gail Harris

It was a spectacular June day -- crisp and clear -- and it was also my birthday. The sun seemed especially bright, as I looked out at it through despairing eyes. For the past year, my heart had been telling me, “Leave, he doesn’t treat you right.” But I did not have the courage to listen. Today it upped the anti, telling me that if I did not leave, I would become physically ill.
That year, my birthday present to myself was to finally follow my heart’s wisdom. So I packed my bags (which I had done twice before), and somehow, I put one foot in front of the other and walked out of the door and into my wonderful new life.

It was not until I left that I came to realize just how miserable I had allowed myself to become by choosing not to follow my inner voice and continue to stay when, for an entire year, my heart told me to leave. Shortly thereafter, I made the conscious choice that I would always follow my heart. It was time to start trusting myself—once and for all—so that I could start living the happy, fulfilling life I truly wanted and knew I deserved. Little did I know, this decision would change my life.

Why is it so difficult for women to follow their inner voice? It all comes down to trust; we don’t trust it and we don’t trust ourselves. Straight from our mother’s knee we have been taught that other people know what is best for us and that we should nurture and care for other people, whether husbands or children. For example, when our inner voice tells us that we deserve to have a loving relationship, a nurturing career, or those Ann Taylor shoes we have been eyeing for months, many of us think that if we listen, then that means we are being selfish.

In addition, change can be frightening. We are all looking for guarantees, and there aren’t any. Rather than finding the courage to trust our hearts so that we can have the best life, we take the safer, easier road, and settle for a life of mediocrity. Think about how many times you have not listened to your heart and then paid for it later?

Believing that we are selfish if we want things for ourselves is just one of thousands of influential outside messages we are bombarded with each day. There are messages from friends and family that tell us we’re “too” this or “too” that. Things we read in books and magazines (or hear and see on the radio and television) that tell us we “should” do this and “shouldn’t” do that. All from others telling us what is right for us. For example, the fashion industry tells us what we should wear, even what our bodies should look like. And you know all too well how we listen to this message. Many of us have completely lost our connection to our inner voice but do not know we have.

The key is to find a healthy balance between listening to both your head and your heart. The good news is you can, because your heart’s messages are very recognizable. If you’re not used to listening for them, there are five simple steps you can do to learn how to connect (or deepen your connection) with your heart’s wisdom.

1. Make the decision to make a change, so that you can improve your life. We can all wait until Monday to get started, but Monday will never come, unless you make the decision to improve the quality of your life right now.

2. Begin to look for and understand any differences between what your heart and your head tell you, with regard to the characteristics mentioned above. For example, after you ate that second piece of chocolate cake, did you feel more or less empowered and in control of your life?

3. Practice by paying attention to these differences in characteristics. Be prepared because once you begin to recognize and trust your heart, your mind will most definitely rear its ugly head, for example, saying, “What’s one more piece of chocolate cake?” Then pay even closer attention to the choices you make.

4. Begin to notice the inner battle that often occurs between your head and your heart. Feel how empowering it is to choose the path of following your heart’s message.

5. The next time your heart tells you to do something that is hard to do, take the risk and do it!

Once you can practice following your heart, you will gain the strength you need to follow its guidance and live a truly fulfilled life.








Gail Harris, author of your “Your Heart Knows the Answer: How to Trust Yourself & Make the Choices That Are Right For You,” helps people to uncover their inner voice through her writing and workshops.
Contact Gail at: gh@yourheartknows.com