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Sexual
Healing
by
Dr. Deborah Taj Anapol
Sexual healing means many things to many people. For me, sexual
healing is a multilevel process that encompasses mind, body, emotions,
sex, and spirit. It includes relationship with the different parts
of oneself, with others, and with all of creation. It's one
element of a whole systems approach that recognizes that treating
an isolated symptom is only partially effective at best. A holistic
approach is especially relevant when dealing with sexuality to
counteract our culture's tendency to split off sex from the
rest of life.
Health is the natural outcome of fully allowing and integrating
every aspect of self and opening to an experience of unity with
others and with the Divine. Sexuality has the potential to put
us in direct contact with our innermost core and thus can open
us up to connection with all centers everywhere in the universe.
Because life relies upon our sexual energy to ensure reproduction,
it's an extremely powerful force. It's also an area in
which many people experience conflict.
My Own Path
As
an undergraduate at UC Berkeley in the early 70's I interned
at a clinic known as the Berkeley Women's Health Collective
(BWHC). There, I participated in a BWHC educational project known
as Women's Self Help.
The Women's Self Help classes included information about women's
reproductive systems, fertility, and sexually transmitted diseases
but the most dramatic aspect consisted of group instruction and
practice in the use of a speculum, flashlight, and mirror to examine
the cervix (entrance to the womb) as well as the vulva (outer
genitals). I've never forgotten the looks of wonder and awe
on these women's faces as their hidden parts were revealed
and they were able to view the mysterious entrance to the womb
for the first time. I was so impressed by the power of this simple,
innovative strategy to free women from shame, embarrassment, and
confusion about their sexuality that I undertook a research project
to see if these classes positively affected general body image
and self esteem. They did! Hands on experiences and peer group
support are very potent tools for sexual healing and central to
my teaching to this day.
That same year I had the opportunity to serve as a research assistant
for a psychology graduate student investigating the effectiveness
of another new concept – support groups for pre-orgasmic
women. Once again I was immersed in data showing that breaking
the taboos against telling the truth about our fears and most
intimate experiences, as well as sharing information about what
works and what doesn't, were the most powerful tools for healing.
Around this same time I had a series of very profound erotic encounters
which greatly expanded my ideas of what sex was all about. I began
to realize that love making could be a means of deep emotional
release, altering consciousness and accessing a state of Cosmic
Consciousness.
Pelvic
Heart Integration
While
there are many approaches to sexual healing, I find Pelvic Heart
Integration to be the most powerful and comprehensive. This unique
blend of deep tissue bodywork, energy work, breath work, gestalt
and psychodrama was developed by pioneer somatic therapist, Dr.
Jack Painter. Painter's work starts from the premise that
the driving force in life is our search for completion. The feminine
inside of us wants the masculine, and the masculine wants the
feminine. This is equally true for both men and women. When we
create harmony between the man and woman inside of us, we attract
harmony in our relationships.
After generations of sexual repression and struggle for survival,
few children in our culture are supported to find this unity of
masculine and feminine inside. Instead, we look for a partner
to be the ideal parent but it never works for long, because we're
dependent on something outside ourselves. There are all kinds
of ways our erotic energy gets cut off and we play out the rejection
as adults.
Maybe the little boy wasn't supported by Father for feeling
and expressing his erotic energy; instead he got competition.
Now he constantly has to prove he's a man. His problem with
women is really his problem with his father. Maybe the little
girl wasn't supported by Mother for being her erotic self,
now she has to try very hard to demonstrate her femininity. Or
the little girl needed Father to be there and support her but
he was absent or critical. The little boy needed Mother to receive
him, but she was pre-occupied, angry or smothering. We all need
the complement in the opposite gender parent, and also the support
of the same gender. If we didn't get this as children, pelvic
heart integration offers tools to help us heal.
As we consider the swing of the pendulum from ancient cultures
who venerated sexual union as the Source of life, to recent extremes
of sexual shame, repression, abuse, and exploitation, it's
clear that we must discover a middle way. If we undertake our
own sexual healing, perhaps future generations will come to experience
sex as the simple, natural, and joyful gift that it is. In sexual
healing, as in any type of healing, the most potent ingredient
is love.
Deborah
Taj Anapol, Ph.D., will be offering a weekend seminar in the Atlanta
area March 12-14. For more information, email
info@lovewithoutlimits.com or phone 415.507.1739
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Health
