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Warrior's
Adventure:
The
Initiation of a Lifetime
By
Turpin Mott
What
is an initiation? Webster defines it as a process
used to put something into use or a process to be
accepted into an organization/group. We all go through
hundreds of initiations during our lives. The first
initiation starting in your own family - where you
fit in, are you defined as the oldest, the smartest,
the “fixer”, the most out going, etc.
As we grow older and develop peers, we are initiated
on the playground, in sports and social groups,
to name just a few. These are common initiations
into adolescence and adulthood. These processes
are usually unconscious and are not for the betterment
of a person.
In
college, I pledged a fraternity and joined the Marine
Corps, both common initiations in America. At the
time, I did what I thought was expected of me. In
1991, I returned from Desert Storm to a life that
I no longer knew. Picking up where I left off was
not a possibility for me. From the outside everyone
else returning from Desert Storm seemed to continue
their life, so I should have been able to also.
My life had changed forever.
For
the next five years, I tried to make things work
the way I thought they should. I got married, started
my own business and continued as if nothing was
different. I was doing all of the things I had been
taught - to work hard, start a family and keep my
feelings to myself. Feeling my true feelings never
entered my mind.
Men
are taught to contain their feelings. While growing
up, I was never asked,“"Do you feel mad, glad,
sad or fear...” As an adult, this translated
to not being able to identify my feelings. I never
knew that I could share with someone that I was
mad or that when I saw them it gave me joy. And
don't even go near discussing my being afraid;
to me that meant you are weak and there was no place
for weakness in a man's life.
In
1995, my brother asked me to a weekend retreat for
men. I didn't know what to expect, but in 1996,
I trusted my brother enough to go on the New Warrior
Training Adventure. This was the first initiation
process where I was given the chance to explore
myself deeply and really see me for who I am. I
was not judged for what I had done in my life, nor
for the man that I had become.
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