How To Get There From Here
by Cheri Huber

Awareness: To Sit Still and Notice

     This is where I make my argument for meditation. In the way that I use the term, meditation is synonymous with awareness practice, and sitting meditation is one aspect of the whole process.

     There are many types of meditation, which can be confusing. One can meditate to reduce stress, to take a time-out from life. One can meditate to focus the attention on a particular object to the exclusion of others. One can meditate to get a new perspective on a problem. One can meditate as a way of deepening a relationship with a supreme being.

     My definition of meditation is “being present in conscious awareness.” To be free of suffering, we must learn to be in the moment. In my experience, it takes a good deal of paying attention to the attempts to be in the moment to realize how out of the moment we are.

     The second book I read on Zen gave instructions for a sitting meditation. I learned two things:
(1) You sit in the full lotus position (the posture in which your legs are crossed, feet resting on thighs); and
(2) you count your breaths from one to ten, then start over with one.

     I began immediately. How I learned to sit is something I explain to people when they are just beginning, because I think my experience may offer helpful information. From the time I read that description of a sitting meditation, I sat in the full lotus posture every moment I was not walking or lying down. I talked on the phone, read, had tea, and visited with friends while sitting in full lotus. When the pain became too much, I would release my legs, rest them, switch the one on top, and return to the position. By the time I left the monastery where I trained, I could sit in full lotus indefinitely, as long as I switched legs every couple of hours. The point I want to make is this: As difficult as it may seem, sitting in meditation position (full lotus or an alternative) is, with practice, quite possible. As with everything in life, it all depends on how much we want to do it. It comes down to willingness. (And it's helpful to know that an alternative to the full lotus includes sitting-with spine properly aligned-in a chair.)

    The second step, counting the breaths, was a life-altering experience. The book suggested counting the breaths from one to ten, so that's exactly what I did. I counted breaths everywhere, all the time-in the shower, while I ate, as I worked, I counted breaths. It was hard to count breaths and carry on a conversation, although I learned to do this fairly well as long as the other person was talking and I was listening.

     During that period of my life, I was driving back and forth between Oregon and the Bay Area of California with some regularity. I decided to count my breaths on a trip between San Jose and Medford. Ten hours of counting breaths!

     I knew something was happening to me the first time I stopped for gas. Instead of my customary chip-on-the-shoulder attitude to people I encountered, I actually felt friendly toward them-for no reason! When I stopped for something to eat, it was as if I had been ingesting illegal substances: Everything was beautiful, colors were vibrant, people seemed so dear. By the time I reached my destination, I was ecstatic. My world seemed huge. Those things that I would have perceived as problems to solve just a day before, were now a joy. Nothing was a problem, nothing was wrong. I was in love with life; and everything was fun, interesting, exciting, and perfect.

     I didn't know enough to recognize that for the first time, I was living in the moment. I didn't know that the reason I was so happy was that I had stepped free of the illusion of a separate self standing outside life and making judgments about each moment as a way to keep its place at the center of the universe. I just knew that counting breaths brought me to this new experience-and I wanted to count breaths from that moment on, for as long as I lived.

     People ask me when they can stop counting breaths and go on to something more advanced. I just smile inside and hope that some day they do find an experience more advanced than counting breaths, because I know that then they will be blissful beyond telling. In the meantime, I encourage them to find out what counting has to offer before they move beyond it. The fact that they desire to go on to something else lets me know that they don't yet know what is available to them right here and now through this simple practice.

Practicing

     So, let's begin here, now. Turn your attention to your body as you take three long, full, relaxed breaths.

What did you notice?

Were you able to keep your attention on the breath?

What sensations were you aware of in your body?

Where were the sensations strongest?

Were you aware of any tension, discomfort, or pain?

Did your attention move around or stay focused on a particular point during the breaths?

What were your thoughts during the breaths?

Did you move your attention from the breath to the head or the eyes?

What emotions did you experience?

Where in your body did you experience these emotions?

Meditation Practice is Continued on next page.