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The
Gift of Forgiveness
By
Sheri A. Rosenthal, DPM
We hear so much about forgiveness these days, everyone tells us that
if we forgive we are doing our spiritual work and becoming better people.
We often find ourselves praying for forgiveness for our actions or another's,
but what does that really mean?
The key to forgiveness is to forgive from the heart, not from the mind.
If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of a person, that
is your heart's way of telling you that you have not resolved your
issues with them. Take some time to journal the story of your experience
with them. Listen to what you have written. Be objective; would a reader
say that you sound victimized by your circumstances, resentful, vengeful
and angry? If so, this indicates that you still have not forgiven.
The important thing is to have awareness of events and to be able to
tell yourself the truth about it. You don't have to agree with their
point of view, what they did or how they did it. No! Your values and
beliefs may be very different from theirs. It just means you can see
the whole truth of what happened and the whole truth encompasses all
points of view, not just your own. This applies to all negative human
interactions; rape, physical, emotional and mental abuse, cheating,
violence, and even what we judge to be the most heinous of human activities.
It means having gratitude for everything that has happened in your
life to bring you to this moment.
We judge everything that happens to us as good or bad, right or wrong.
If we are always judging according to our point of view we will never
be able to have gratitude for the challenges and experiences life sends
our way. No matter how enlightened a person you may be, experiences
will always occur in life. People you love will die, relationships will
come and go, or your car may be totaled, but if you have gratitude for
life's challenges, you will always be writing a beautiful happy
story of your life! Even better, you will never feel victimized by your
circumstances.
I am suggesting a different way of perceiving life, one without judgment
and with the ability to respect others' views and beliefs. One in
which you take responsibility for your mind, what it thinks and as a
result, how you choose to react to any situation. When you can truly
see the other person's point of view, then you can forgive from
the heart. True compassion of the human experience is the place from
which forgiveness begins. And compassion is love that is free of attachment.
Of course the kind of love I am talking about is unconditional love.
Forgiveness
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Heart